LIPSALVE: Now, by the horns of Cupid's bow, which hath been the bane to many a tall citizen, I think there be no finer fools under heaven than we men when we are lovers. Didst ever see the true picture of a lover? I can give thee the hieroglyphic, and this it is: a man standing naked, a wench tickling him on the left side with a feather, and pricking him under the right side with a needle. The allegory, as I take, is this: that at the first we are so overjoyed with obtaining a wife, that we conceit no heaven like to the first night's lodging; and that's the signification of the left side, for wives always in the night take the left-side place: but, sir, now come to the needle on the right side--that's the day-time, wherein she commands. Then, sir, she has a certain thing called tongue, ten times more sharp than a needle, and that, at the least displeasure, a man must have shot quite through him. I'll tell thee, there's no creature more desirous of an honest name, and worse keeps it, than a woman. Dost hear? Follow this song, and if ever thou forsake thy country for a wagtail, let me be whipped to death with ladies' hairlaces.